Strength in Weakness

So recently I haven't been feeling well. Feels like some sort of flu bug. While wallowing in my self pity, I had a weak moment and purchased a bottle of Diet Coke. This is after over a month of being soda free. Well, I opened it, took a swig and the first thing in my head was "OMG YUCK! I can't believe I used to drink this crap!" Seriously, I couldn't take another sip and ended up giving the bottle to my husband. So I feel very comforted now, knowing that I don't even like the taste of it anymore. My moment of weakness has completely obliterated my cravings for Diet Coke. I feel stronger than ever now in my ability to stay off soda forever.

As my husband said: "You're now officially de-toxed."

Psych Eval

I had my psych eval today and I passed. It was really not a huge deal. They were just looking to see that I understood that WLS is not magic and you won't lose weight by drinking gallons of melted butter afterwards. Also checking to make sure I'm emotionally stable (i.e. do not have unmedicated mood disorders).

I feel really good right now. I'm getting there, slowly but surely. Almost halfway to surgery!

Second Bariatrician Visit

I had my second visit with the bariatrician today. We went over my lab work and I am highly deficient in Vitamin D (normal for obese people), but my hemoglobin count was WAY low. So low in fact that it would prevent surgery. Luckily, this is most likely due to my excessively long and heavy period (have been bleeding pretty much constantly since Thanksgiving 2010). I'm on birth control now to get my cycle under control and the Dr wants me to take iron supplements. Hopefully over the next 8 weeks the extra iron + lack of bleeding will bring me back up to normal levels.

It is also time to schedule my psych eval. I'm a little nervous but I am sure it won't be a major deal. My next appointment with the bariatrician has been scheduled and I will be taking a few classes on the same day.

I'm still Diet Coke free. The Dr said that there have been studies that proove that diet sodas cause craving of "bad" foods (like fast food and sugar). I'd never have believed it before, but now that I've been off Diet Coke for a month, I totally buy it.

If you don't have anything to blog about...

... then don't blog anything at all. That's kind of what I thought when I drifted away from this blog almost 2 years ago. Life was life... working, taking care of husband and animals, sleeping. I wasn't doing much in the way of crafting, traveling, cooking, or anything else. But now, oh dear readers, now I have so much to tell you.

I have started down the road towards Bariatric Surgery. There came a point in my life when I realized that I needed to get serious about losing all this weight. I will be 30 years old on August 25th, and I want to start this decade out right. I'm not doing it so I can look cute in clothes. I'm not doing it so that I wear high heels. I'm doing it to get healthy... to have a baby. That's some serious bizness y'all. Every single reason I have for having this surgery stems from a health/ability standpoint. Looking good and wearing small clothes are a bonus, I really could care less.

I have been blogging my progress on the ObesityHelp website, but I will be cross posting here as well. I am not going to make promieses to post every day or even every week. But I do promise to blog frequently. I will be taking "before" photos this coming weekend (fully clothed, not in undies you pervs) and posting them as well.

I am blogging all of this for me, mostly. To keep a record of the journey. But if I can help someone else with their struggles with weight, even better.

Lucy's Boys

My internet connection ate itself last night before I got a chance to post. So I'm going to post twice today.

Lucy saw her boyfriends for the first time in 6 months yesterday. Oh goodness I wish I had my camera. She was so excited she immediately rolled over and had a look of pure joy and contentment in her face. Her boyfriends are 2 large Rhodesian Ridgebacks named Loki and Ketu. They're both owned by a geology Ph.D. student at NAU, and they dote on Lucy. Whenever another dog tries to play too rough with her, one of the boys butts in and protects Luce. It's really adorable. The guys are big brutes too, around 100 lbs of sweet dog. I am not sure if we're going to the park tonight again, or if I will wait till tomorrow to take her. She surely does love playing with the dogs and getting petted by so many other people. I can't wait till Angel is up here and I can start taking her regularly. She would benefit from the experience, since she hasn't been to the park as many times as Lucy has.

And lastly, gratuitous Lucy photo I took last night because she was being cute.

Tell me something I don't know.

According to The Geek Test, I am a MAJOR GEEK (36.29191%). Shit man, everyone knows that.

Boring old update

It's been really hard to think of interesting things to say every day. I'm not at home, so I don't have any crafting going on. I don't cook lately. Even the dogs are down with the husband. So all I can really do right now is update some of the benign aspects of my life. I got new glasses today. I can see clearly (YAY), but 3 people in my department have the same frames... and they're all guys. I think I bought dude glasses. But oh well, I fit in right? I look like an Analyst now.

Been looking for affordable rentals around here. Found a few out in the Mountainaire area of Flagstaff. They're small and not totally cheap, but very charming. One is an A-frame, but I think it will be nixxed because it is smaller and more expensive than the other place. Still, the other place isn't much bigger (maybe 50 square feet), but it's $150 cheaper. We'll see. I've only just started to look.

Tomorrow's Friday, so I will not be blogging. I am planning on blogging on Sunday with a recap of the weekend. I just am so wiped when I get to Phoenix on Friday nights, and then Saturday sometimes I don't get online. Besides, who wants to blog when you're seeing your husband for 48 hours all damned week.

Work

I have to say, I am very happy about my current job. It is finally something that uses both my college degrees, the company is stable and well managed, and I have a great department. Everyone has been very friendly and helpful. I am even starting to make some friends. It makes going to work so much more fun when you know you'll be seeing and interacting with people that make you laugh. That and it's Wedesday, which means I am now closer to going home! When people say they live for the weekends, they don't understand it the way I mean it. I FREAKIN' LIVE FOR THE WEEKENDS! It's the only time I get to spend with my husband and our pups. And I get to spend it at home, not as a house guest. Someday hubs and pups and I will all be together again in Flag, and that is a nice thought. That someday couldn't come fast enough for me. But until then, I shall satisfy myself that I have old friends in town, and new friends at work.

The internet is for.... nothing.

For some reason, I have had the shittiest connection to the internet since my days with a 56k modem. There is high speed where I'm staying, but I time out of online games, and half the time web pages won't load until the 3rd or 4th try. I pinged the router and I get immediate response. I ping google, and I get a seriously delayed one. I know the problem has to do with the connection from the router to the net, but I don't know how to fix it. It isn't my house so it really isn't my place to. But it's really frustrating when I come to write a blog entry and have it take 15 minutes to log in, press the "new entry" button, and have the screen load. I'm seriously fuming right now. It sounds lame, but right now the net is all I have. I'm not living at home, not living with my husband, not living with my pets, and not living with the vast majority of my stuff. When I get off work, I want to come home and connect to friends and family, and the net connection is seriously imparing that. *frustrated*

Ch-ch-chaaaanges.

I’m going to add a caveat to my blogging every day. With my travel back and forth to Phoenix every weekend, it’s making weekend blogging extremely difficult. I was so tired when I got home on Friday, I forgot that I had to blog and so ended up posting a one line, lame-ass entry. I did not blog Saturday because I didn’t really get online, since hubs and I were hanging out and doing non-computer things. And Sunday I didn’t blog because I got into Flag kind of late and I was tired. SOOOOooo I’ve decided to blog every weekday (Mon – Thur) and then once on the weekend (Fri – Sun). I think this will be more acceptable with my crazy traveling, and now I won’t feel pressured to post something that I could have twittered instead. I’m hoping this will lead to more interesting blog entries, with a little more thought and some photos to boot.

That being said, this weekend was nice. I hung out with my husband and the dogs. Went to the 2 pound locations looking for Mia, but could not find her. I decided that, in addition to getting some more dog food, I would buy dog treats as well. Short of finding Mia, I felt the only thing that would make me happy is to watch our rupps (short for ruppies, which is a derivative of puppies) munch on some gnarly and gross bones. It worked. They LOVED the beef knuckle steaks I got. At $6 for a pack of 2, it wasn’t a bad price. There were still bits of fat and tissue stuck to them. Completely gross, which of course means completely tasty to the girls. I think Angel buried hers. Lucy, ever the lady, daintily picked off pieces and crunched them before settling in for the big chew.

Hubs foot was all kinds of jacked up this last week. It is awful to watch him limp around in so much pain. This happens about once a year. Best way to describe it is a charley horse from hell that won’t go away quickly. We went to the hospital once last year, and they couldn’t tell what it was. At least he isn’t working right now. He couldn’t be standing on it the way it is, anyway. He gimps around as well as he can, but I know he was happy to have me there this weekend to baby him.

I ended up breaking from our usual pasta/potato and meat routine this weekend and made huge sandwiches. I used a loaf of French bread piled high with Virginia ham, smoked turkey, provolone, lettuce, and tomatoes. That’s right; I actually got the boy to eat some veggies. He loved the change of pace, and I love that I only had to wash a cutting board and 2 knives instead of pots and pans and strainers. Especially now that Phoenix is starting to heat up, cold dinners are going to be a priority for me.

And since I don't have a photo from the weekend, here's a little eye candy. This is why I want to move to the Pacific NW. The photo was taken in the first week of January 2004 along the coast of Oregon. Breath. Taking.

The Valley

Nothing like a purplish blanket of smog to welcome one back home.

Book Review - Year of Wonders

I recently read Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks. I have to say, this was a fantastic read. I'm already fascinated by plague in Medieval Europe, and have read many books on the subject. But this took a fictional perspective of a woman living in Eyam, a very famous plagued village in England. I won't delve into too much detail, but I think the author captured very realistic feelings, reactions, and imagery in this story. I highly recommend it.

He's mellowing

Tweek (along with our remaining cats) has been living with my parents for awhile. Ever since Mia disappeared, I sent the kitties to my folks for safe keeping until we figured out how to cat-proof the back yard. As it is, now they're staying with my parents until we figure out where we'll be living.

I talk to my mom every day to get "Tweek Reports" because that cat does some outrageous stuff. Nothing TOO bad lately, though. Aside from being a treat fiend, he's ripped open large bags of cat food, ran off with my dad's hearing aid, and chomped and crunched numerous insects in the house. There have been no flayings (though I think this is more due to my parents learning to steer clear of his claws than of him not using them). He has started to get real cuddly with my dad. It was about 3 years before Frodo mellowed, and Tweek will be 3 this summer. There is hope yet...

Sty

Sty - (noun)

1.) a circumscribed abscess caused by bacterial infection of the glands on the edge of the eyelid; hordeolum.

2.)FRICKIN' PISSING ME OFF!!!


Yeah, I have a sty in my right eye. Sorry for the short blog tonight. I'm gonna go lay a hot compress on it.


Not my eye, but you get the idea. *sigh*

M.I.A.

Our beloved Mia has been missing since late January, and I've gone through all the emotions from denial, to hopeful, to despair. Lately, I've been thinking about her and thinking of the question "How long is too long?". How long should I keep looking for her before it becomes "too long"? The simple answer is that no amount of time would be too long to spend if I got to see my baby again. But at the same time, logic has to come into play. Eventually, we may move away. We won't be able to go to the shelters to look at the strays. I suppose I could keep a constant internet vigil, posting her on every site continuously. But I've been facing that scary thought of "What if I never find her." It's not a place I really want to go, emotionally. I've been steeling my heart to that ultimatum while trying to remain hopeful. I am still worried sick, though I try to not let it interfere with my life. In the end, I know I will see her again. I just don't want to wait that long.

Another day, another blog entry.

And so a new week begins. I drove back to Flagstaff tonight, unloaded the computer and got it set up. I have a few more things to unpack. I try to bring a little bit up at a time. I want to bring up my Lack shelves I bought at IKEA a long time ago, but I'm not sure how well the in-laws would like me drilling holes in their walls.

I left both dogs home this week. I hate leaving everybody, especially the hubs. But last week when I brought Lucy up, it was easier to leave. But hubs and Angel missed her, and she's staying down there for now. I'm going to make up the lonely afternoons by rediscovering the library. I have been wanting to read a lot lately, and with the penny-pinching, I thought it was a great time to rekindle an old habit. When I was little, mom took me to the library all the time and I have good memories of it.

Tomorrow I'm going to the eye doctor. My Rx is in serious need of reevaluation. I'm getting headaches a lot from squinting. I am also looking forward to picking up some frames. I'm trying to decide on the style. Hubs says to stay with the black plastic, and I probably will. I think I'm going for something more square this time though.

So that's it for today. No picture, sorry. It's late, I'm tired. Better luck next time.

Recap, now that I have the will and the sanity

I haven't had much of a will to write about all the things that have happened since we moved to Phoenix. I don't know if I will ever blog it all since I don't really want to rehash all that nonsense. The short version is presented here, in the form of a timeline.

September 2008 - Hubs and I buy our first home. Jobs are going well. Happiness.

October 2008 - Welcomed new dog, Angel, to the family. Lucy's happy, we're happy.

November 2008 - I get laid off. Things get scary.

January 2009 - Hubs loses his job. Mass panic ensues. Depression imminent. No health insurance, no medications. Yay!

February 2009 - I get AWESOME job.... in Flagstaff. For those not from AZ, that's about 150 miles away. Hubs lives in Phoenix, I live in Flagstaff. We visit on weekends. Without going into more detail (since I've been talking of little else with the Hubs lately and frankly I'm tired of thinking about it), this living situation is the most financially sound choice.

All in all, things are looking up. But yeah, you can see why I haven't had the heart to blog much in the last 4 months. Anyway, the goal now is to sit tight and hope Obama can fix the economy enough that Hubs and I can live in the same city again.

Good news, I've been at my new job 3 weeks and got my first paycheck. It's almost $500 more than I'm used to bringing home! So that will help things. Settling into life here, getting used to the new routine. Next week I get to go to the doctor again and get my meds refilled. Nothing makes for crazy and grouchy than being overstressed and undermedicated. Also, I'm going to get tested for new eyeglasses, so good-bye needless headaches. And lastly, I just bought a mega comfortable bed. This is a HUGE issue since I've slept on an air mattress and a rock-hard-awful twin for the last 3 weeks. Good-bye back pain.

Aside from catching up, the purpose of this post is to say that I've decided to make March the month I will blog every day. I finally feel calm and in control of life enough to do it. You'll recall that it was one of my "To Do in '09" items.

And in closing, since I hate reading blog posts without any pictures (because yes, I am that grade school):

Our Angel

Randomly Generated

Using a random integer generator, I chose a page number and photo number out of my Flickr gallery. The page number is 26, and the photo number is 9. Soooo, let's see what that brings up.


I remember this bento well. I had made it shortly after making Brown Eyed Susan cookies. The gyoza were just frozen ones I steamed and put atop a bed of rice and furikake. Add some edamame, spinach, tomatoes, and koala cookies and you have a tasty lunch. I also happened to have some Ramune too. I need to start making bento again. I ate healthier when I had bento, and I definitely ate less.

100 50 37 Things to do in 2009

Not so much resolutions, but more of a wish list. A wish list of things I have been wanting to do, but just never "got around to it" in 2008.

I have to admit, this list started as a 100 things to do list. But I got stuck. And since I didn't want to put stupid stuff down for the sake of having a nice round list, I decided to leave it at 37. A wonky list to go with a wonky blogger.

1. Make my own marshmallows
2. Experiment with different flavors of said marshmallows
3. Hang shelves above my desk
4. Put craft supplies in matching boxes on shelves
5. Sew a piece of clothing for myself
6. Knit a pair of socks (and not stop after one sock is done)
7. Make chicken stock Done: 1/5/09
8. Use stock to make chicken soup
9. Make Grandma's noodles for soup
10. Get all our boxes unpacked
11. Sort old clothes and donate some (or all) to goodwill
12. Decorate our guest room
13. Paint my hall bathroom
14. Put up tin backsplash in kitchen
15. Paint kitchen cabinets
16. Make headboard for our bed
17. Send 5 letters, hand written, physically mailed
18. Participate in one of those "365 days of" photo challenges
19. Blog every day for 30 days
20. Reduce our garbage output
21. Replace kitchen sink faucet
22. Make some art for the house
23. Visit the Phoenix Zoo
24. Take the dogs to Flagstaff while there is snow on the ground They LOVED it!
    
25. Get a library card
26. Read one book per month from library
27. Get garage door fixed
28. Grow my hair out (I will NOT get it cut, other than trims to even it out as it grows)
29. Learn to use my Canon Digital Rebel thoroughly
30. Walk for at least 10 minutes a day
31. Eat a vegetable or fruit at every meal
32. Eliminate soda for one month
33. Update address book
    
34. Send Christmas cards
35. Host a party
36. Twitter at least once a day
37. Make pierogies from scratch

Foheenix update

We're here. It's been absolutely insane, what with husband moving, moving out of apartment, finding/buying/moving into a new house, and starting a new job. But we lived through it and have relatively few scars. The animals are all fine, and overall we're settling into some semblance of normalcy. I have a few before photos of our house... well I shouldn't call them "before" photos since they're really "current" photos. But we have decoration plans. Mind you, we DO have plans. Just not the energy and money to do it all yet. Little by little, my young padawan.

Our new house was built in 1970 and is one of those ranch style homes. It's officially 1320 sq. ft. but that doesn't include the bonus room (as yet unfinished) as well as the large amount of storage in the garage. We have 3 bedrooms, and 1.75 baths... basically 2 bathrooms but one has a shower and one has a shower/tub combo. Living, dining, family rooms and kitchen round out our abode. Oh, and we have a HUGE yard for Lucy Dog to run around in. We are considering getting her a friend, but that won't be for a long time. Maybe after the holidays.

All crafting has been put temporarily on hold until we get unpacked. After that, I imagine there will be a lot of sewing of doll clothes and a lot of household decoration posts to come.